I am sitting in the lobby of a
hospital writing this post on paper to be transcribed later. My back is to the TV, but The Price Is Right is on and I can’t help glancing behind me every so often—wow, Drew Carey has lost a lot of weight since I saw him last! Sorry, my mind is wandering a bit. Hospitals are not my favorite place to be, but here I am
nevertheless. Moments ago, Ben was
wheeled away by his nurse for pre-op.
Yesterday, he was diagnosed with appendicitis. He is finally going in to have the offending internal organ surgically removed. Ben was
supposed to begin his eight-week pain management program today. He and Jennifer would have been in Orange County
right now. I should be at work. Instead, I’m sitting in a lobby chair while
Jennifer runs a few errands and collects Isaac from the Graham’s house (they
graciously let him stay the night with them while we tried to figure out what
was going on here at the hospital).
Friedrich Nietzsche is credited
with saying: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” If this saying is true, Ben’s spirit has to look like the Hulk (not the
green; just the muscles)! As a father, I
always thought (appropriately so) there was much I needed to teach my
sons. At the same time, however, I have
also found there is much my sons have taught me. I’ve mentioned a couple of those lessons here
and here. I’m grateful I’ve been
humble enough to pay attention to their teaching moments over the last several
months. I am a much better man because
of those lessons.
Ben was incredibly calm in the
moments leading up to being wheeled away to the operating room. He told me his composure had to do with the
fact that a) this procedure needed to be completed, and b) the organ being
removed isn’t important. His second
assessment made me smile because it echoes the “conventional wisdom” here on
earth. I’m not sure I fully subscribe to
this notion. I have a hard time
believing Heavenly Father has given us this organ for no reason. I guess I’ll have to wait until the
resurrection to find out if my notion is correct; but I digress. I also believe Ben was calmer because of the
blessings he has received.
He started showing signs of
sickness on July 4th. We thought he had
caught a 24 hour flu bug. He seemed a
little better Saturday morning, but got
progressively worse as the day continued.
By around 11 or so that night, I found him on his bedroom floor
complaining of abdominal pain. If I’d been thinking a little clearer, perhaps I would have remembered the
stories told by other family members who had appendicitis and put two and two
together. This was not the case,
however (should I find comfort in the fact that I'm consistently dense? J). Fortunately, I at least had the
presence of mind to ask Ben if he wanted a blessing; the answer was yes.
It’s interesting. Since a time on my mission when I learned a
very powerful lesson about giving blessings (maybe I’ll tell it in this forum
one day), I have tried very hard to allow the Spirit to dictate the things I
say in blessings. I will also admit that
since that experience, I’ve been a bit more gun-shy when it comes to giving
blessings on the sick with oil. Ask me
for any other type of blessing, I have no problems, but I still am very careful
about “oil blessings” on the sick and afflicted because I don’t want to do or
say anything not in harmony with the Spirit or not in harmony with the will of
Father in Heaven. I’m getting better,
after over 25 years, but the reticence is still there. In this particular instance, instead of saying
words normally associated with blessings on the sick, the words which came out
of my mouth told Ben he would be protected and watched over and kept safe and he would be able to get to urgent care in the morning.
I didn’t say anything to anyone
out loud at the time, but I will admit to being baffled by those words. Why those promises in that fashion? Jen took Ben to urgent care immediately
Sunday morning. By Sacrament meeting,
she was able to get word to me of Ben’s condition and the fact that he had been moved from urgent care to the hospital. At that moment, the words
of the blessing made sense to me. Once
again, I was reminded of two things: 1) Father in Heaven is intimately
concerned about His children, and 2) He knows so much more than I do (believe
me, I consider this to be a very good thing).
I will finish writing this post when Ben’s surgery is finished.
* * *
It’s evening and I’m home
now. Jen is staying at the hospital for
the night. The surgery went well. Turns out Ben’s appendix was perforated. Some appendix gunk (for lack of a better
word) leaked into his abdominal cavity.
The surgeon attached a “tap” into his stomach area to allow the gunk to
drain out of his body—I guess he’ll have to deal with that for about a
week. Ben spiked a bit of a fever after
coming out of surgery, but his temperature was subsiding when I left the
hospital. There will be some recovery to
accomplish, but I’m confident he’ll be able to do it without any tremendous
problems. I am thankful all is
relatively well.
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