After the seeming odyssey we experienced to reach Carthage, punctuated with an exclamation point by the downpour, I was happy to finally arrive in the parking lot. As I mentioned in my earlier post, there was a solemn feeling as we began to walk toward the jail and the visitor's center. I wish I could remember what the grounds looked like 30 years ago. It would be interesting (to me at least) to note what, if any, differences were evident between then and now. Memory being what it is, however, I'll have to content myself with remaining curious. I did enjoy the plaques with the statements from Joseph culminating with the statue of him and Hyrum. I also recognized the introductory film we watched (I used to have a copy--received it when I taught early morning seminary--but let someone borrow it and . . . well, never got it back even after several attempts).
It was Monday, June 24 when we arrived--169 years to the day since Joseph and his party left Nauvoo to surrender themselves to the Illinois state militia. They left at 6:30 that morning. As they rode past the temple site, Joseph paused to look at the temple and Nauvoo and said, "This is the loveliest place and the best people under the heavens; little do they know the trials that await them" (History of the Church, 6:554). A statue depicting this scene now stands across the street from the Nauvoo Temple.
One of the things Isaac and I had talked about on our Sunday drive (while the Ohio trooper tailed us) was about Governor Thomas Ford and his actions (or inaction) during the days leading up to Joseph and Hyrum's death. I was reminded of a talk President Gordon B. Hinckley gave at Conference which contrasted Ford and Joseph Smith (you can link to it here). At Carthage, I couldn't help but wonder again about Governor Ford's role in what culminated in Joseph's martyrdom. Although Joseph and the others with him started toward Carthage early in the morning on that Monday in 1844, they didn't actually arrive until nearly midnight. The reason for this was because Ford sent the state militia to take Joseph back to Nauvoo as they confiscated three small cannons and 200 guns from the Nauvoo Legion. There were other aspects of the Governor's conduct that was less then honorable over the next few days. I also had to wonder how men could reach a point to want to kill another man. As we walked up the stairs of the jail toward the bedroom where Joseph and the others stayed, I tried to picture in my mind armed men with faces painted black rushing up the stairs to indiscriminately fire their guns into the room. I admit, it was a difficult mental exercise.
The day before in Kirtland, we were the only ones in our tour group. I liked this because we were able to go at our own pace and ask questions of the Sister missionaries and not have to worry about others and their time table (now that I think of it, this was the case at the Whitmer farmhouse and the Hill Cumorah Visitor's Center as well). At Carthage, however, we were lumped into a large group. I wish it had been otherwise; there were times I felt rushed and wanted to be able to spend a bit more time in the jail. It was interesting to watch the reaction of my family as we were led from room to room. We would try to linger in each as long as we could and Ben and Isaac asked me questions. The tour ended in the bedroom where Joseph, Hyrum, John Taylor and Willard Richards were attacked. The Sister missionary who served as our tour guide allowed us to have some extra time there after the other people left the room. I was thankful for her gesture. Isaac and then Jennifer took a moment to stand at the window Joseph had jumped from while Ben talked with the sister missionary and answered questions she asked him.
Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven; William W. Phelps wrote in his anthem to the Prophet after his martyrdom (Hymns, 27). Sacrifice does bring blessings, I have seen it in my own life time and again, but to stand in that room contemplating the ultimate sacrifice given by Joseph and Hyrum was sobering. Several weeks have now passed since I stood in the room where "the best blood of the nineteenth century" (D&C 135:6) was spilled. I have thought about my testimony of the Prophet Joseph Smith and its genesis. While my biggest mission regret was my less than diligent journal writing (my mission journal covers the first four months of my mission and midway through the 10th and 11th month), my Missionary Training Center (MTC) experience was something I did cover and it gave me "same day" reaction to the meeting that helped me gain my testimony of the Prophet and his mission.
One of the extra bonuses of the MTC was the Tuesday devotionals when a General Authority would come and speak to us. Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone of the First Quorum of the Seventy was the first devotional speaker I heard. His address focused on the Prophet Joseph Smith. I'm surprised I wasn't more detailed in my journal entry (I don't remember how much time we had before we were supposed to turn the lights out), but that talk had a profound effect upon me. To help him with his talk, Elder Featherstone invited a young man (I think a returned missionary) with a very good singing voice. The young man would sing a verse of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" (he didn't sing them in order, as I recall), then Elder Featherstone would relate stories from Joseph's life that reflected the verse. It was an amazing meeting. A quote from my May 6, 1986 entry: "Never before have I felt the Spirit so strong throughout an entire meeting as I did in this one. I felt as if my heart was going to leap from my chest." I didn't try to describe the feeling other than that, but as I recall I felt as if spiritual waves were gently lapping against my chest; they radiated from the pulpit striking me with regular rapidity. When the meeting ended and we left for our final class of the evening, I was physically exhausted. I couldn't focus on what I was doing during that final hour. Another quote from my journal entry: "Before, I suppose I had always taken for granted that Joseph Smith was a prophet (that was sort of like a set or understood concept), but after that meeting, my attitude has taken a 180° turn. I am thankful I was able to attend the devotional."
It is interesting for me to relive that moment when I consider that only 2 1/2 weeks earlier I had gained my own testimony. After 19 years of relying on my parent's testimony of the gospel, I came face to face with the reality that I needed one of my own when my mission call arrived in the mail. Suddenly instead of remembering the Primary song "I hope they call me on a mission," I was faced with, "I've been called on a mission!" In that instant as I read I was going to the California San Bernardino Mission, I recognized I couldn't teach a missionary discussion and then say to an investigator, "Be baptized a member of the Church because my parents know it's true!" I realized the investigator would want to know what I thought--what was my testimony. I needed to find out for myself. I received inspiration to know that the way for me to accomplish this new found goal was to read the Book of Mormon. I finished it from beginning to end for the first time in my life the night before my farewell address in my ward. After reading the final verse, I took Moroni's challenge, praying sincerely to know if what I had read was true. The answer I received from the Holy Ghost was unmistakable--for the first time in my life, I didn't think or believe the Church was true; I knew it was true independent of anyone else. I entered the MTC on Thursday, May 1, 1986 with my missionary clothes, my scriptures and my discussions. I also had my fledgling testimony of the Book of Mormon and the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ which spiritually armed me in a way I had never been before. The testimony I gained of Joseph Smith at Elder Featherstone's devotional was the next piece of armor needed to prepare me for the two years ahead and it continues to bless my life now.
Joseph wrote that after introducing himself, the angel Moroni declared "that God had a work for me to do; and that my name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people" (JS-H 1:33). A sobering statement, but one continuing to hold true to this day. There are those who will try to tear down the testator and his testimony; there are others who may find reasons to doubt him as a person or as a prophet; and there are those who hold fast to their testimony of him and of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the organization he restored to the earth. Honestly, it has taken me several days to write this post as I have contemplated, relived, and prayed about my testimony of the Prophet. It has been a reaffirming experience for me to do this and I am grateful for it. I can say, without hesitation, that I know Joseph Smith was called as a prophet by God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know through revelation Joseph was able and inspired to restore the gospel of Christ and His Church to the earth. I know Joseph laid the foundation for so much that I enjoy today as a member of the Church. I know Jesus Christ manifested Himself to Joseph on more occasions than his first visionary experience.
Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!
Jesus anointed that prophet and seer.
(Hymns, 27)
Joseph sealed his testimony with his blood on Thursday, June 27, 1844. I am thankful for the testimony I have of him and am grateful for the opportunity we had as a family to follow the early Saints on our vacation.
It was Monday, June 24 when we arrived--169 years to the day since Joseph and his party left Nauvoo to surrender themselves to the Illinois state militia. They left at 6:30 that morning. As they rode past the temple site, Joseph paused to look at the temple and Nauvoo and said, "This is the loveliest place and the best people under the heavens; little do they know the trials that await them" (History of the Church, 6:554). A statue depicting this scene now stands across the street from the Nauvoo Temple.One of the things Isaac and I had talked about on our Sunday drive (while the Ohio trooper tailed us) was about Governor Thomas Ford and his actions (or inaction) during the days leading up to Joseph and Hyrum's death. I was reminded of a talk President Gordon B. Hinckley gave at Conference which contrasted Ford and Joseph Smith (you can link to it here). At Carthage, I couldn't help but wonder again about Governor Ford's role in what culminated in Joseph's martyrdom. Although Joseph and the others with him started toward Carthage early in the morning on that Monday in 1844, they didn't actually arrive until nearly midnight. The reason for this was because Ford sent the state militia to take Joseph back to Nauvoo as they confiscated three small cannons and 200 guns from the Nauvoo Legion. There were other aspects of the Governor's conduct that was less then honorable over the next few days. I also had to wonder how men could reach a point to want to kill another man. As we walked up the stairs of the jail toward the bedroom where Joseph and the others stayed, I tried to picture in my mind armed men with faces painted black rushing up the stairs to indiscriminately fire their guns into the room. I admit, it was a difficult mental exercise.
The day before in Kirtland, we were the only ones in our tour group. I liked this because we were able to go at our own pace and ask questions of the Sister missionaries and not have to worry about others and their time table (now that I think of it, this was the case at the Whitmer farmhouse and the Hill Cumorah Visitor's Center as well). At Carthage, however, we were lumped into a large group. I wish it had been otherwise; there were times I felt rushed and wanted to be able to spend a bit more time in the jail. It was interesting to watch the reaction of my family as we were led from room to room. We would try to linger in each as long as we could and Ben and Isaac asked me questions. The tour ended in the bedroom where Joseph, Hyrum, John Taylor and Willard Richards were attacked. The Sister missionary who served as our tour guide allowed us to have some extra time there after the other people left the room. I was thankful for her gesture. Isaac and then Jennifer took a moment to stand at the window Joseph had jumped from while Ben talked with the sister missionary and answered questions she asked him.Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven; William W. Phelps wrote in his anthem to the Prophet after his martyrdom (Hymns, 27). Sacrifice does bring blessings, I have seen it in my own life time and again, but to stand in that room contemplating the ultimate sacrifice given by Joseph and Hyrum was sobering. Several weeks have now passed since I stood in the room where "the best blood of the nineteenth century" (D&C 135:6) was spilled. I have thought about my testimony of the Prophet Joseph Smith and its genesis. While my biggest mission regret was my less than diligent journal writing (my mission journal covers the first four months of my mission and midway through the 10th and 11th month), my Missionary Training Center (MTC) experience was something I did cover and it gave me "same day" reaction to the meeting that helped me gain my testimony of the Prophet and his mission.
One of the extra bonuses of the MTC was the Tuesday devotionals when a General Authority would come and speak to us. Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone of the First Quorum of the Seventy was the first devotional speaker I heard. His address focused on the Prophet Joseph Smith. I'm surprised I wasn't more detailed in my journal entry (I don't remember how much time we had before we were supposed to turn the lights out), but that talk had a profound effect upon me. To help him with his talk, Elder Featherstone invited a young man (I think a returned missionary) with a very good singing voice. The young man would sing a verse of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" (he didn't sing them in order, as I recall), then Elder Featherstone would relate stories from Joseph's life that reflected the verse. It was an amazing meeting. A quote from my May 6, 1986 entry: "Never before have I felt the Spirit so strong throughout an entire meeting as I did in this one. I felt as if my heart was going to leap from my chest." I didn't try to describe the feeling other than that, but as I recall I felt as if spiritual waves were gently lapping against my chest; they radiated from the pulpit striking me with regular rapidity. When the meeting ended and we left for our final class of the evening, I was physically exhausted. I couldn't focus on what I was doing during that final hour. Another quote from my journal entry: "Before, I suppose I had always taken for granted that Joseph Smith was a prophet (that was sort of like a set or understood concept), but after that meeting, my attitude has taken a 180° turn. I am thankful I was able to attend the devotional."
It is interesting for me to relive that moment when I consider that only 2 1/2 weeks earlier I had gained my own testimony. After 19 years of relying on my parent's testimony of the gospel, I came face to face with the reality that I needed one of my own when my mission call arrived in the mail. Suddenly instead of remembering the Primary song "I hope they call me on a mission," I was faced with, "I've been called on a mission!" In that instant as I read I was going to the California San Bernardino Mission, I recognized I couldn't teach a missionary discussion and then say to an investigator, "Be baptized a member of the Church because my parents know it's true!" I realized the investigator would want to know what I thought--what was my testimony. I needed to find out for myself. I received inspiration to know that the way for me to accomplish this new found goal was to read the Book of Mormon. I finished it from beginning to end for the first time in my life the night before my farewell address in my ward. After reading the final verse, I took Moroni's challenge, praying sincerely to know if what I had read was true. The answer I received from the Holy Ghost was unmistakable--for the first time in my life, I didn't think or believe the Church was true; I knew it was true independent of anyone else. I entered the MTC on Thursday, May 1, 1986 with my missionary clothes, my scriptures and my discussions. I also had my fledgling testimony of the Book of Mormon and the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ which spiritually armed me in a way I had never been before. The testimony I gained of Joseph Smith at Elder Featherstone's devotional was the next piece of armor needed to prepare me for the two years ahead and it continues to bless my life now.
Joseph wrote that after introducing himself, the angel Moroni declared "that God had a work for me to do; and that my name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people" (JS-H 1:33). A sobering statement, but one continuing to hold true to this day. There are those who will try to tear down the testator and his testimony; there are others who may find reasons to doubt him as a person or as a prophet; and there are those who hold fast to their testimony of him and of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the organization he restored to the earth. Honestly, it has taken me several days to write this post as I have contemplated, relived, and prayed about my testimony of the Prophet. It has been a reaffirming experience for me to do this and I am grateful for it. I can say, without hesitation, that I know Joseph Smith was called as a prophet by God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know through revelation Joseph was able and inspired to restore the gospel of Christ and His Church to the earth. I know Joseph laid the foundation for so much that I enjoy today as a member of the Church. I know Jesus Christ manifested Himself to Joseph on more occasions than his first visionary experience.
Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah!
Jesus anointed that prophet and seer.
(Hymns, 27)
Joseph sealed his testimony with his blood on Thursday, June 27, 1844. I am thankful for the testimony I have of him and am grateful for the opportunity we had as a family to follow the early Saints on our vacation.
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