Missouri Impressions (Adversity)

I suppose it is difficult to see the Missouri Church history sites without thinking about adversity in one form or another.  Everywhere we stopped if the feeling of adversity wasn't right in my face (Liberty Jail and Independence), a subtle undercurrent hovered nearby (Far West temple lot).  None of us are immune to adversity and suffering.  As Paul wrote to the Hebrews, even Jesus "though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered" (Hebrews 5:8).  Lest we wonder why Jesus had adversity, Paul also explains that because He "suffered being tempted, he is able to succor them that are tempted" (Hebrews 2:18; emphasis added).  Alma took this concept further when he explained to the people in Gideon that "the Son of God" would suffer "pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and . . . will take upon him . . . the sicknesses of his people . . . that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities" (Alma 7:10-12; emphasis added).  Webster's dictionary defines "succor" as "relief, aid, help".  When applying this definition to Paul and Alma's words, one can see how important it was for Jesus to not only be tempted as we are tempted, but to suffer pain, affliction, and sickness while He lived on the earth.  If Jesus were shielded from any of these things, how could He have perfect empathy for us?  It is difficult to relate to someone when you do not truly understand what they are suffering.

My oldest son, Ben, can serve as a case in point for this concept.  This is a still shot of Ben, Isaac and me at the base of the Hill Cumorah.  The boys wanted to "recreate" a moment 13 years ago when I chased Ben around in this same area.  Originally, I had Isaac on my back in a carrier.  This time they wanted me to chase both of them.  They tired me out, but I caught them . . . eventually. :)  Upon returning home, Ben resumed high school football practice.  He played in a scrimmage and got his first tackle during the game (he was very excited about it).  But not long afterward (about a week or so before the team’s actual first game), he was participating in a drill where the tackler was supposed to find an angle and tackle the ball carrier.  Ben was the ball carrier and he was hit at an angle in just the right/wrong place in his side and back area.  After that, his back began to hurt.  The pain became progressively worse until it reached a point where he had difficulty standing and walking (even sitting wasn't easy).  In order for us to take our yearly trip to the LA County Fair this year, we had to rent a wheelchair and push him everywhere.  We all had a good time, but it was a different experience.  In the meantime, the hoops we had to jump through just to get him help through our medical insurance was an odyssey at times.  It took about a month before we finally found out that his lower lumbar joints appeared to have received some damage.  The nerve test he took came back negative (which was good) and a bone scan showed no fractures.  Still, everyone was stumped as to why he continued to feel pain.  He had been given two steroid shots in his lower back and these should have helped, yet he was still experiencing spasms and dealing with nearly debilitating pain.

Watching Ben go through this patch of adversity has been a very difficult experience for me because I have no frame of reference in which to process it.  I have never had back pain like Ben is currently going through.  I definitely feel sympathy for his plight, but I have no empathy because I have had no similar feelings.  At times, I've felt completely helpless.  As much as I would like to, I cannot grab a Harry Potter wand and make Ben's pain go away.  Neither can I put a bandage on his back to make the boo-boo all better.  All I have been able to do is give Ben his pain medication (there are days when the meds haven’t helped much) and to sit with him and hold his hand as his back spasms while he tries to go to sleep.  This has helped me to understand, in a small way, the importance of the Savior's Atonement.  While my offering of help to Ben is limited (although he has told me on many occasions that he is thankful for what I can offer), Jesus' "succor" is all encompassing.  As He explained to the Prophet Joseph Smith: "I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent" (D&C 19:16).  His suffering on our behalf allows Him to understand us perfectly.  With that perfect understanding, He knows what we need when we need it, but we still have to come to Him to ask--to humble ourselves to petition Him through the Father for His help (click this link for a video by Elder Holland).

The other aspect of adversity is the personalized lessons we can be taught from our experiences.  In Section 122 of the Doctrine and Covenants, the Prophet Joseph Smith was told that his adversity “shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7).  Many times, the knowledge I have gained from adversity comes after I have completed the difficult experience.  However, there have been a few things learned so far.  One of the things Ben has learned is the importance of consistently going to church.  He missed two weeks in a row because of the pain and then a third week because of General Conference—three weeks of not partaking of the sacrament.  A few days before Conference, he asked me for a blessing as was told that reading scriptures and saying prayers were not enough—attending meetings was of vital spiritual importance as well.  In the Sunday afternoon session of Conference, Elder Kevin Hamilton of the Seventy gave a talk about Sunday worship that hammered this lesson home to Ben (for the full talk, click this link).  He has attended Sacrament meeting in our ward since then.  The pain makes it so Sacrament meeting is all he can physically attend, but he has been able to partake the sacrament and listen to the talks and we hope he will soon be able to attend the full block.  As for me, I have been given a small inkling of what it could have been like for Father in Heaven to watch His Son suffer and not be able to remove the pain from Him.  How I can complain and whine at Father for what we’re going through when He has dealt with a situation far greater than mine?  Also, because of the support through contact, prayers and fasting we’ve been given by family and ward members during this time, I have also been reminded that “Inasmuch as ye have [served] one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40).  At times when we feel “the least” we are given the most.

I've also been reminded of human imperfections and the problems they can cause.  I took the day off from work to accompany Ben and Jennifer to an appointment with a second orthopedic doctor (the first was . . . shall I say, less than satisfactory and leave it at that).  During this appointment, Ben was referred to a new pain management doctor to discuss new options to deal with his pain.  Since the nerve test and bone scan showed no major problems, new options needed to be considered.  Thankfully, we were able to see this doctor that same day.  After looking over the MRI pictures and other information Jennifer has carefully collected, this doctor determined that the steroid shots should have been placed one vertebrae higher than had previously been given.  To hear this diagnosis made me livid inside!  Three weeks Ben had been in pain when he could have been recovering!  It was very difficult to let my anger go, but I realized it was unproductive and not helpful to Ben.  The new shot will be performed tomorrow and we hope it will begin the recovering we have been praying for.

Admittedly, what I have related above were not my immediate impressions of the Missouri sites we visited (honestly, these experiences have chased those impressions from me).  However, I think the trials and adversity we have had since our vacation have been tempered because of our visits to the Missouri sites.