Pushing the Reset Button

I’ve mentioned this in a few posts and if you’ve noticed the gap between the last two posts and this one (August to December to February) it’s painfully obvious that … I’ve fallen way behind. L  This started about a year ago when I decided to post my top 10 favorite Star Trek episodes in honor of my, at the time, recent acquisition of all of the original series episodes.  It took longer for me to write those two posts than I expected (I didn’t want to just breeze through my reasons for picking the 10 episodes on my list).

To compensate for the time I was taking, I started jotting down (and in a few instances, fleshing out) additional posts to make sure I didn’t lose them to faulty memory.  By the time the top 10 lists were finally finished, I was 3 months behind.  I thought I’d be able to catch up because of the ideas I had written.  I did make some progress.  Then we went on vacation.  Wanting my vacation posts to be written “in the now,” I hand wrote them on notebook paper, thinking this would speed up the transcribing process—full posts written instead of ideas.  After we returned home, I got involved with a few other projects and moved blogging to the back burner.  A month or so later, I was back to uploading previous musings and then I reached the vacation posts I’d written.  The transcribing process, however, was slower not faster and I fell a couple more months in the hole.  To compensate, I set up a Microsoft Word document on which to write posts.  I figured this way I’d be able to keep my sequencing intact and be ready for the time when I would be moving at a faster rate of speed … best laid plans of mice and men, blah, blah, blah.

Instead of speeding up my process, it’s slowed me down even more.  Maybe I unknowingly have a foot trapped in Bizzaro World and everything is happening exactly opposite to my desired plans.  Whatever the reason (real or imagined) I’ve continued to fall further behind.  I don’t know; perhaps the following thought has become entrenched into my brain: “Oh, I’ve got plenty of time to pop these into my blog.  I have other things I can focus on right now.”  Desperate for a solution, I’ve now come to the conclusion that if I’m going to truly leap into the present; I need to press a reset button.

I have a couple of posts that will appear after this one to bring me to the present—or, at least to the date that my latest post was written on my computer page.  By bringing myself to the present in this manner, I’m hoping whatever pressure or laziness or apathy that has taken hold of me will finally melt away and I’ll start filling in the gaps with the posts I’ve previously written.  At least I’ll be able to move forward with up-to-date posts while backfilling the others and not beating myself up for being so far behind.

*Sigh!*  It’s strange being me and living in my brain.  Maybe one day, I’ll finally figure myself out … which will no doubt send me screaming into the night. J